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Joseph says his wife would sometimes decide not to go to the , the ritual bath required of Hasidic women after they menstruate to “purify” them, making them once again sexually available to their husbands.

According to Jewish law, if Joseph’s wife had not gone to the baths, he was forbidden from touching her, much less having sex with her.

Months of awkward hallway run-ins and how-could-you-do-that emails ensued.

“You’re at work, but you’re still fighting,” she says.

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oseph, a thin man with a delicate bearing and soft gray eyes, has a mellifluous accent that is hard to place – evidence of growing up in the United States but in a world apart.

Until 2009, he was living in a religious enclave of upstate New York as a Belzer Hasidic Jew.

Yet still I worry that I am not going to be good enough or sound intelligent enough to be a co-contributor.

I can’t tell you how many people have asked me why, as a man, I care so much about internalized sexism.

“He was kind of a loser, and it felt sketchy to date someone at work,” says the 29-year-old of the colleague who sat directly next to her.

But overworked, lonely and with little time for a social life, Kate says she “ended up giving in” to the pressure to go out with him.

“You can’t get away from it.” These days, Jenna admits that the two have recently hooked up again — but the pair continue to squabble.

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