Take a break and find the cause of your dissatisfaction, try to come up with solutions to fix your problems or at the very least, ameliorate them.
“I think it can be really healthy to separate, have some life experiences, date other people, go to grad school,” she says.
“When you are ready, you’ll probably think of that person first.”Therapists can list many benefits of going on a break: It’s a chance to rediscover yourself, build appreciation for your significant other (the whole “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” thing), and ultimately strengthen your relationship. Chances are the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with will be different from your partner, so it’s important to hash these things out from the beginning, says Matt Lundquist, a clinical social worker in New York.
They include an attorney, chef, coach and publisher.
But once every year, they travel to various locales to become kids again, short-sheeting each other's beds and dousing showering roommates with ice water. They're grown-ups now, ages 45 to 59, scattered across the country.
Jaime and Joe had one of those summertime romances that only exist in New York, filled with drinks that turn into lengthy dinners, evenings out with friends, and even trips to the gym that somehow still felt incredibly romantic. It was the quintessential “it’s not you, it’s me” speech.
But for Jaime, who was a late 20-something working in public relations at the time, the relationship wasn’t just a summer fling. It wasn’t easy, but it was a fairly clean break, except for the fact that they both worked in PR and inevitably bumped into each other at industry events."If you're that far down the this-isn't-working-for-me road, you've pretty much made up your mind.You just don't have the courage to say so."Sometimes people find it easier to turn the problem into a process instead of solving it with a clean-cut declaration.I love feeling like I’m helping people, and that is its own reward.But, I still need a break from time to time so I don’t burn out.It could be helpful to set a time frame for the break (for example, a week, a month, or whatever you’re both comfortable with), after which you’ll regroup and decide what your next steps will be.