If you ever feel afraid to start conversations with strangers, put the following ideas into practice and ramp up your conversation-starter self-confidence even with the most dour of people. Start by asking them about themselves as connected to the situation. This is fine as some kind of opener, but the conversation could end there if you don't take heed of the next tip.
Before approaching your victim - sorry, target - no, err, imminent conversational partner, don't keep nervously looking at them as if they are a small pool at the bottom of a huge dive you're about to take. You're not 'taking the plunge' or risking everything; you're just being sociable. In this way, you initiate conversation by getting them to speak. If we don't light a fire in the right way, it may not take - and it's the same with conversation.
That is to chat/text until your mouth/fingers fall off! Hence, if you rely on the girl [especially a super shy one] to carry the convo; IT WILL GO NOWHERE! Not because she’s a selfish bitch, but it isn’t within her to divulge much of her opinions…especially if she’s someone you just met. Ok, so that was the chat log from Whatsapp Messenger. When I’d posted these string of screenshots to my Facebook, a student of mines chimed in with the following comment. The average guy will believe that the reason why the girl isn’t responding more actively is because she isn’t interested or doesn’t care to respond in great details.
You will notice how imbalance the conversation is, where she’s mainly providing 1-word answers and I’m blabbering away. As RSD Jeffy famously said; learn how to have diarrhea of the mouth! Here’s the thing: this is only true in cases where the girl is NOT a shy one.
Research shows people will likely want to talk to you if you are smiling. Keep it going by asking open questions that require more than a yes/no answer. "Stranger: "Yes..."You: "That's cool...really....." [nervously look at watch]Hopefully, they'll say more than just 'yes'; but just to make sure, ask them a question that opens up the conversation: You: "Jenny chose this place tonight; I really love this bar. "Unless they're totally closed to conversation (in which case, move on; you deserve better), they'll give you a much more detailed response than a yes or no. Imagine watching a James Bond movie that showed our suave super-spy being put on hold for half an hour whilst trying to phone someone at his bank, followed by an hour's shopping in the high street. We don't want all the mundane detail; we want to see the good bits.
Don't grin manically at people like a prom queen on acid, but a gentle general smile will instantly make the prospect of talking to you more appealing. "Initiating a conversation doesn't mean carrying the whole thing. If I approach someone socially, I don't wonder what I'm going to talk about; I'm curious about what they're going to talk about. Being a great conversationalist is as much about leaving out stuff; as much exclusion as inclusion. Instead, ask yourself, "What does this person need to know?
Later you can use me as a story to turn on your much more age-appropriate boyfriend. You are lying in the hospital sick and weak and sort of disgusting looking, and have some kind of painkiller-induced crush on me, but really I’m just going to get drunk with my girlfriends later and talk about how gross and weird your head wound is.
4) Let’s pretend we’re online, and in two different cities, and it’s 3 a.m.
This means anything you say is more likely to feel right (within sensible limits). But gentle, not too probing, questions show you're interested (and people find interested people interesting).
To help you feel this relaxed confidence when starting a conversation, check out the free audio session at the bottom of this page. Asking someone about themselves gives them the opportunity to help the conversation get going.
Here are 7 tips for sharpening your humor skills: 1. The first rule of relationship-building humor: Do No Harm.