And her frustration is what spurred me to write today’s post. You imply that you should get rid of the guys that don’t call regularly and make it obvious that they want to date and pursue a relationship and yet in the book you mention that you didn’t take your wife on a proper date for the first 4 weeks and how great she was that when you did call she was nice and said yes to whatever you proposed doing…and you ended up married….which is why women put up with flaky guys and “bad behavior”, holding out hope that it will change and turn into something serious. Or do you move on to the next guy because this one isn’t making much of an effort? But if Tanya is finding this grey area to be a bit too grey, then I have to acknowledge that perhaps I can do a better job of explaining it. So why does a man only call or text you once a week to make plans? If he expresses no interest in escalating the intensity of the relationship… So don’t worry about how much you like him, how strong your feelings are, or anything like that. Did they “see you” once a week for six months and suddenly declare their love? Potential boyfriends act like potential boyfriends. So give a guy 6-8 weeks to figure out his feelings, if necessary.
He’s been working on it for more than 2 years so I don’t know if that’s also a factor in why he’s reluctant to move forward.
We almost never fight, but when we do it’s always about the bigger issue: our future together. I’ve told him that I’ll wait and believe he’ll be worth it.
I love your column and think you do a great job of answering questions and concerns with sympathy, empathy and insight. I asked if that’s why he doesn’t want to move in—because he’s afraid we’ll break up and it’ll be a pain to move out.
We knew a couple who broke up after living together.
(LTK): What happens after two people decide they want to spend time together in a dating context?
(LG): Stage two is the romantic stage and usually lasts for two to three months.
Right now we see each other 4-5 times a week, and I mostly I stay at his place.
He also has this professional project that’s a big priority.
It is normal and common for partners to be in different stages.
When this occurs, requires patience and understanding are necessary.
Some messages were flirty or stated we had been rocky.