the Lord of the Flies, eat or be eaten, Survivor: Dating Edition, only without the million dollar prize.It’s not just men that play, despite what you’ll hear jilted, scorned, used and heartbroken women saying.
developer and anti-harassment crusader Zoe Quinn is developing a video game with erotica author and internet icon Chuck Tingle.
If you’re unfamiliar with Chuck Tingle: he’s a somewhat notorious author whose short e-books - all published on Amazon - invariably involve the protagonist being pounded in the butt by some supernatural creature, topical event, or abstract concept. Those titles bely an intelligent and self-aware writer who - let’s face it - has a pretty good thing going.
And then of course, there’s the ‘but (insert gender here) always wins!
most of us have been played by someone who, as it turned out, was just pretending to care for us, to love us, even to like us, all in calculated effort to get from us without giving in return.
It’s not just women, either; despite the lamentations of rejected, earnest and lonely men.
When I say ‘dating as a game’, I mean that potential mates aren’t beautiful, great people, humans worthy of love and affection, worthy of honesty and vulnerability, of our best.
The alternative to this bullshit is, of course, to go ahead and text first. You end up looking desperate, lonely, obsessed, cat-lady-like, too eager, impatient, stalker-esk? If the date goes well, you would expect the texting to increase from this point. They’re considered “traditional” and “old school.” But, perhaps you did go on a date with a “traditional man” and mind games are now commencing. These gentlemen may be more inclined to calling, which means you can simply re-read this article and replace to get the same point. I don’t have THE answer to this problem, because the answer actually changes depending on the connection, your emotional status, and your expectations prior to and after the date. Or, perhaps the romance movies are NOT bullshitting us and the right one will text at the right time.
What complicates matters more are pre-existing patterns, modern gender roles, and generational differences. A man who’s self-confidence equals or may even overshadow my own.
After getting ready, I would pick her up from her apartment. I would compliment her appearance and mean it as we walked to my car. And if there was a spark and things went well on the date, she’d get flowers or a note or something she can actually hold in the next few days.
If you’re a male in your twenties, you may read this and think, “Wow, what a loser.” Well, okay. Today, a date is not really a date because there’s no such thing anymore.
The mind games muddy the testing waters and you’re left wondering…